Martha Carlson says, “I’m approaching 10 years with stage 4 breast cancer, and this question tops the “most asked” list. “How do you do it?” I’ve been asked this question in many ways over my years living with metastatic breast cancer. When I’m feeling anxious or a little “salty,” as my kids would say, I inwardly roll my eyes and bite my tongue.
The short story: I do it the same way we all do things, by waking up and getting to it. Gratefully, I am able to actually answer in a kinder manner that may help the person who is asking, whether she’s a patient, a caregiver, or— as has happened to me — one of my own doctors.
The fact is that people living with metastatic cancer don’t have a choice other than Just. Do. It. If we stop, we aren’t likely to be here much longer and, frankly, even when we do everything in our power, we may not be here as long as we’d imagined.
People who enjoy fables will recognize that I have spent the last nearly 10 years of my life living with the sword of Damocles hanging overhead, coming closer but not quite fatally nicking me. Between blood tests, scans, EKGs, an unending supply of doctor appointments, and, of course, treatment every three weeks, the sword sometimes feels more like a piece of paper attempting to take me down through paper cuts. I am one of the fortunate few whose metastatic cancer has been brought under control by drugs and genetics.
But that sword doesn’t vanish.
My “secrets” are no secret. I do the things that we know are helpful but that can be hard to maintain over time:
- Acknowledging living with cancer and all it entails is a bad hand to draw at any age. Basically, it stinks, but then I move on.
- Accept that I am doing my best and refuse to blame myself for things that are out of my control or for making choices that make me happy as a person, even when my healthcare team might prefer something different.
- Don’t keep it inside for long. Much to the occasional dismay of the people closest to me, I have learned to “feel what I feel” and own it.
- Try to schedule unpleasantness as much as possible. For me, this can mean squeezing in multiple appointments in one day or one week so that the rest of the month can be mostly free of cancer stuff. This might not be your way! Maybe you like to spread it out. The point is to try to make the schedule work for you.
- Schedule pleasantness, too I took a page from one of my sister’s and now I actively look for flights to my family and friends well ahead of time; I talk to my husband about nearby places that might be interesting and make plans to go; I sign up for workshops and classes that interest and challenge me.
- I maintain that I am here and capable even when—and this is key—I am sad, anxious or scared. In keeping with the “I feel what I feel” mantra that keeps me going, I have learned to accept that we feel more than one thing at once. This idea is talked about quite a lot in my circle, often credited to grief counselor, Kelly Grosklags, and is the idea that we need to live in “both/and” spaces rather than “either/or.”It’s why I and others get up in arms when we are told to “be grateful,” as though we can’t feel gratitude alongside sorrow.
- Make friends who lift you up, make you laugh, who like you for who you are, and bring you along on their adventures. To all those who have lived this cancer-life with me in this giving and honest way, I send all my love.
- Metastatic cancer is the kind of cancer we treat most often at CyberKnife Miami with great success and in a lot less time. Usually, it only takes one to five treatments, compared to 10 to 25 treatments with traditional radiation therapy. Metastatic cancer is a cancer that has spread from the original (primary) site to another place in the body.CyberKnife, also known as stereotactic body radiation therapy (SBRT), has emerged as an excellent treatment option for those patients who are not surgical candidates, have failed chemotherapy treatment, or have run the course of treatments and been told there’s nothing left to do.
- CyberKnife’s robotic arm and missile-guided image technology allows us to achieve a high level of accuracy by pinpointing a tumor’s exact location throughout the treatment, resulting in successful outcomes.The sophisticated software uses X-ray images taken constantly during treatment to allow us to precisely deliver radiation to the tumor while minimizing damage to the surrounding healthy tissue and critical structures.The CyberKnife system can continuously pinpoint and follow a tumor’s exact location as the patient breathes normally. This enables the CyberKnife to zero in on the moving tumor and focus multiple radiation beams from many different angles attacking the tumor. Standard radiation therapy can’t do that.
Each treatment typically lasts 30 to 60 minutes and is performed on an outpatient basis. If tumors come back, we often can treat them again.
The CyberKnife treatment is completely pain free. Patients dress comfortably in their own clothes and can bring music to listen to during treatment. Nothing will be required of the patient, except to relax. In fact, patients often sleep through the treatment.
- There are generally only minimal side effects, if any, from CyberKnife treatments, which may include mild nausea and fatigue.After completing the CyberKnife treatment, patients will schedule follow-up appointments.Keep in mind tumors will not suddenly disappear. In fact, it could take several weeks or longer to determine the effectiveness of the CyberKnife treatment.
Response to treatment varies from patient to patient. Clinical experience has shown that most patients respond very well.
The number of treatments required depend on how many tumors are present and if they are in close proximity to each other. Research continues to demonstrate a 90 percent control rate for certain types of metastatic cancers treated with CyberKnife.
- If you have metastatic cancer, it’s critical to understand your treatment options. To find out if you’re a candidate for life-saving CyberKnife radiosurgery, call the CyberKnife Center of Miami at (800) 204-0455 and click on this link for more information on what we do and how we do it.